Why Daddy?

Me - Grade 6

Me – Grade 6

Daddy, why did you hurt me?

Why did you lie?

Lie about it?

Lie about me?

Me? I loved my daddy

Me? Your daughter

Daughter in name only

Daughter – not yours

Yours had all your love

Yours, I could never be

Be loved

Be wanted

Wanted to make you love me

Wanted to make you proud

Proud to be my daddy

Proud to call me daughter

Daughter who shamed you

Daughter you detested

Detested the sight of me

Detested the memories

Memories of molesting

Memories of abuse

Abuse against my body

Abuse against my soul

Soul was crushed and broken

Soul was damaged

Damaged goods

Damaged without love

Love I needed so desperately

Love – please someone care

Care and tell me you love me

Care about my heart

Heart is so wounded

Heart is so broken

Broken, so cold and alone

Broken and empty

Empty – God fill me with love

Empty – tell me I’m worthy

Worthy of love

Worthy of life

Life without these painful memories

Life without this ongoing pain

Pain for never earning Dad’s love or Mom’s

Pain for always causing them trouble

Trouble – my middle name

Trouble and shame

Shame for what you did to me

Shame, abandoned and rejected

Rejected

Me

© 2014
Cheryl A. Showers

Image Credit: OctPowriMo

Image Credit:
OctPowriMo

This was written for Day 24 of OctPoWriMo. I didn’t even attempt to follow the prompt tonight, because my heart was so heavy, and I needed to release what was inside. Today was my stepfather’s birthday. He was the man I called daddy, and he passed away in 2011, but sadly, the pain never died. It still rears its ugly head sometimes, like today, trying to destroy me, but thankfully, I have a heavenly Father who does love me the way a daddy is supposed to love His little girl, and without His love, I never would have survived all the pain. To read what others have written, please click the link.

Advertisements

4 responses to “Why Daddy?

  1. Christ’s peace to you. I am so thankful for a God who tenderly holds our heart in his love when it feels too heavy to beat. Thank you for your post and for sharing your story so others know they aren’t alone.

    • Amen. He is the Daddy who loves us when no one else does, and I pray that He does help others who have also been violated, in Jesus’ name. God bless you, Karen!

      Love,
      Cheryl

Please Share Your Heartfelt Response to This Story...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s