Without a word, she dropped to the ground, landing on her feet, snarling and growling, then charging after me in a furious frenzy. My mirth quickly turned to terror, as she ran towards me and I began to flap my wings as hard as I could.
I know what you’re thinking. You’re probably thinking my situation is pretty hopeless, huh? And you’re probably thinking I’m a real bird brain to get myself into this situation, right?
Well, I am a bird brain, but hey! What do you expect? I am a bird, and yes, I did torment that lioness, but I thought I could get away from her. How was I to know that when the nice humans at the bird sanctuary clipped my wings, I would be unable to fly as high and as fast as always? I guess I just watched too much Tweety and Sylvester at the animal sanctuary.
Tweety’s my hero. He’s cute and yellow, and when he talks with his sweet little voice, everyone thinks he’s just a helpless little canary, when in reality, he’s a super hero! Man, I really admire that little dude. I want to be just like him!
Okay, I know I’m not a canary, but hey — crows can be adorable. I know, you don’t think my squawking is as pleasant as a canary’s voice, but it’s all just a matter of preference. I’ve heard some people say my voice sounds a lot like fingernails scraping a chalkboard. What could sound better than that? And even though I’m not as small and cuddly as a canary, I’m very attractive — at least I think so. I call myself Super Crow.
So, I guess you’re wondering how I got into this predicament… Well, it’s like this… I’d just finished watching another episode of Tweety outsmarting that stupid cat, Sylvester, when I saw ol’ Sylvia. There she was, napping at the foot of the tree, while I roosted on my perch, and that’s when inspiration hit me!
Elated and feeling adventurous, I jumped from my perch, spread my wings slightly behind me, and began a wild downward spiral, cawing, “Hey Sylvia! This one’s for Tweety!” My aim was stupendous, as I dive bombed that sleeping lioness, crashing into her butt with the tip of my sharp, pointy black beak.
Oh! The thrill of victory! You should have seen that overgrown cat’s response. She jumped at least ten feet straight up off the ground, with a huge “YOWL!”
“Bahahaha!” I chortled, as I rolled on my back, with my cute little feet up in the air. It was hilarious — at least that’s what I thought until without a word, she dropped to the ground, landing on all four of her paws, and came charging after me, growling and snarling. Honestly, that dumb ol’ lioness has no sense of humor at all.
She was in such a rage that I could see it was pointless to try and explain. Therefore, I quickly jumped up, flapping my wings as hard as I could, and that’s when I discovered an unpleasant bit of information. Did you know that when humans clip your wings, you can’t fly as high or as fast as you would otherwise? Don’t you think they should inform poor sweet little birds like me about information that important, before they just go ahead and clip them? Have mercy!
Why would humans do something so foolish and so cruel? What were they thinking? You know, now that I think about it, this mess really isn’t my fault at all. I hold those stupid humans responsible for my current situation! They were the ones with the bird brains. If they hadn’t clipped my wings, I could have flown higher and faster, and I wouldn’t be stuck on this perch now, with that angry lioness climbing up closer and closer to me.
As Sylvia continued to climb towards me, I frantically racked my brain, asking myself in desperation, “What would Tweety do?” But blast it all! I’m just a crow with a bird brain, and I couldn’t think of anything else to do but go down fighting. That’s when I came up with my second bird-brained idea of the day…
Frantically flapping my wings, I was able to rise a little higher. Then I began my final glorious descent. No longer was I pretending to be Tweety, and my situation was no longer hopeless, because I was now Super Suicide Bomber!
Cheryl A. Showers